The Sound

A few days after Haddey came home with us we started noticing a noise she made when she would breathe. It sounded like she was gasping for air through her mouth, but couldn't get any. Obviously, we were concerned. I took her to the pediatrician. We saw a woman we hadn't been to before because our doctor was booked. The doctor said it was nothing, maybe her sinus' were a little swollen which is normal and to run a humidifier and do saline drops. My mom had gone with me to the appointment and we both left thinking that she was totally wrong.

A few weeks later we were back at the doctor for her 1 month check. This time we got to see our usual pediatrician. This time I had made a video of Haddey making the sound and got to play it for her. She told me that it was Laryngomalacia - basically a floppy airway that is super common in infants and would resolve itself within the first year of her life. She said if it started getting worse or if it would interfere with her ability to eat that I could take her to an ENT. I left that appointment so thankful that we had a name for the sound and that it was normal.

About a week or two later we had Jamie babysit and she had mentioned that she thought Haddey was making the sound a lot more. I didn't really notice it getting worse, it seemed like it was just so normal to me to hear it multiple times a day. So we decided to find a pediatric ENT to get it checked out. This way they could tell us that it for sure was Laryngomalacia.

The following week we had an appointment. After about 2 hours of waiting to see the doctor (UGH) and almost just walking out because they were SO SO slow we were back in the procedure room getting a scope done. The doctor was super nice and gentle and I really liked him. The scope, on the other hand, I didn't like so much. I held my baby girl in my lap, facing out, while the nurse held her head still and the doctor stuck a scope through her little tiny nose down her throat. I hadn't heard her cry so much and so hard before. (Mind you that she hadn't slept for hours and was exhausted.) We were both crying at that point. He keeps looking through the eye piece and then slowly takes it out. He mentions that he sees a kind of growth in her throat, and that she does not have Laryngomalacia. He was a bit puzzled at what he saw. He asked if I would mind one of his colleagues could come in and take a look. I agreed, although she would have to have the scope put back in again. :( The doctor takes a look and he too is a bit puzzled.  Basically he described the thing in her throat as a blueberry looking growth. He said not to worry, that it didn't look like anything scary like cancer. (CANCER?! The C word had not even entered my mind.) He described the location and I was so lost the whole time he was talking to me. Not only did I not know what the words meant that he was saying, I was just so shocked that there was something in her throat that shouldn't be there. He said he would talk to their radiologists and get back to me on what the next step would be as far as figuring out what it was.

2 days later I get a call from him. He would like Haddey to have an MRI. He said this would be the best way for them to see what it was that was in her throat.

One week after that on 5/24 we went to Cardon's to get her MRI. Paisley spent the night with her grandma. I was a bit nervous, not of the scan but because they would have to sedate her to keep her still. She was such a champ. She is seriously the best baby I could have asked for. She wasn't allowed to eat anything for 4 hours before our check in time. We had to be there at 10:30a and the scan was supposed to happen at 11:30. I woke her up to feed her at 6:00a and she ate really well then went back to bed until 9-9:30a. SO thankful. When she woke up, she was a happy camper. We played on her little mat and prayed for God to protect her little body then we left. 

Our nurse was amazing. She was with us the whole time and was so sweet to our girl. She did get a bit fussy toward the end when we were still waiting for her to be taken back, but we would just lay her on the bed and she would just "talk" to us. So precious.

They took her back around noon and said it would only take about 45 minutes. I didn't think I would cry, but when the nurse walked out the door holding my baby, I couldn't help it. We just sat there watching TV and worrying (more me worrying than Aaron - he is much more tough). 

Then they came back in. I was so happy to see her. She was laying on her side in a crib all hooked up and still asleep. Her nurse said she would be waking really soon. I can just remember the nurse having her face right there by Haddey, talking so sweet to her and rubbing her head as she was coming out of it. She started screaming and crying, never really opening her eyes. I got to hold her and just talk to her, trying to calm her down. When she finally opened her eyes I fed her. She was much happier then! We had to hang out there for a while before we could get moved into a room where we would have to stay for a few hours just so they could monitor her some more.

 

Poor little thing with her IV.

 Everything went really smooth. We were so thankful! We finally got to leave around 5:00p.

A week later we were back in to see her doctor. He wants to do surgery. The MRI wasn't as clear as they were hoping to be able to tell for sure what it was. He had even shown her films to a board of doctors and radiologist for some other opinions, however no one could say for sure what it could be.

Now we just wait for surgery. I think it's going to happen on July 23, still waiting to get that confirmed. We 100% trust God. We know He created her little body perfectly, even with this mass in her throat. Nothing surprises Him, and we can find comfort and rest in that. We just pray for wisdom to do the best things for her and for the surgery to go smooth and the recovery to be easy.